Distance
by CladinGrey97
Summary: This takes place after the 'Tartaros Arc - Final Chapter'. Where one year has progressed into three and Lucy is left in Fiore trying to come to terms with a future permanently without Fairy Tail. When Natsu and Happy finally appear, forgiving them for leaving isn't possible and she's faced with the cruel job of informing them of the guilds disbandment. Natsu x Lucy
1. Winter

"Bye Lucy"

My body jolts awake beneath the sheets. The cool morning air causing my skin to prickle with the all-to-familiar chill of winter.

I listen again for the thrum of two extra heartbeats and eventually draw in a shaky breath upon the answering silence. _He isn't here_ I remind myself. _Neither of them is_.

A letter. A letter barring scars of its own in barely decipherable scribble. Left behind by hands scorched in brilliant flame. That letter was the only scrap of evidence I could use to reassure myself that our happy days weren't gone for good.

 _"I'm going off on a journey to train with Happy. I'll be back after about a year._

 _Give everyone else the heads up okay? See ya' on the flip side Lucy!"_

 _\- Natsu and Happy_

My voice trembles with the word as it escapes. "Natsu". And with it a treacherous tear slips down my cheek but before more can join it, my eyes flutter open.

Nothing. At first that is all I can see. " _A deep void of emptiness_ " I use to describe my room in that moment, the writer in me settling happily into the far reaches of my mind. Alas, a dull ache paws at my heart desperately as it seeks out a single shred of warmth in the room but comes back empty handed.

Slowly my eyes begin to adjust to the dim morning light peering through the window. Hoping to find a pair of unwelcome shadows below the glass, I lean forward on the mattress and skim the street. Again nothing. And with that I force my eyes shut, begging for even a glimpse of the pink haired boy and his blue winged feline.

….


	2. Another Day

The porcelain feels cool against my palm but without trying it, I know the tea is still hot; the steam blowing visibly over the edges.

I attempt to scan over another of my draft articles. _"The global economy is facing another whirl wind of change as the city council grapples against an increase in dark guilds throughout Magnolia"_ I read. With a sigh, I shut the note book.

"Look mama! Fairy Tail" I nearly knock over my cup as I spin around. Across the street a toddler with short strawberry curls tugs at her mother's skirt, pointing to a faded book behind glass. "Fairy Tail!" the little girl repeats happily.

"Oh? Are you talking about the book of Fairy Tales in the bookshop?" her mother asks gently. With a warm smile, her mother lifts her onto her hip and presses closer to the shops glass window. "You know Marie, there used to be an incredible guild in Fiore. It was also called Fairy Tail."

The toddler's blue eyes widen. "Where did all the Fairies go mama?"

The young mother giggles at her daughter's question. "I don't know sweetie. One day they just disappeared. Maybe they decided to all go off on their own adventures. No one really knows." With a smile the woman adds, "Now, how about we take a look at that book you wanted? Hm?" Distracted from her inquiry, the little girls bobs her head quickly in answer.

I watch the mother and daughter until they disappear behind the bookshop door, unsettled by a growing ache in my chest. The two's conversation playing over in my mind.

 _Where did all the Fairies go?_

 _One day they just disappeared._

 _Maybe they decided to all go off on their own adventures._

It breaks my heart to consider it, but I can't help but wonder if the mother is right.


	3. Fairy Tail

"Wait! Please don't go!" I cry, my breathing ragged. But the words fall short, and with them my legs cave in; bare feet numb to the cold slip out from under me and I crash. Instead of biting gravel, I plummet into snow.

 _I can't reach him_. The truth is a pile of lead weighing my tongue down and the longer I lay there, the further out of reach he becomes. I glance up long enough to catch his unruly pink hair shift in the breeze before tearing my eyes away. It's only then that I notice my hands, fingers tinged blue within the snow. Only the spot on my right hand where the Fairy Tail insignia should be is empty. I choke back a scream.

My lips form his name but no sound escapes. _Why? Why won't anything come out?_ I panic and try again in a vain effort to stop the tears now clouding my vision. _Natsu_ I beg silently, but it's too late. He's already gone. When I snap my head around, the Fairy Tail guild is nowhere in sight. I'm now completely alone.

It's only then that I realise I'm dreaming. Because how could this not be a dream? I've already lost everything.

…...

When I wake up, skin covered in sweat, I realise no amount of research will bring them all back. _It's simply too late_ I decide, locking eyes on the vast map blanketing the wall. _I was too late._


	4. Goodbye

The pen I'd been clutching in a white-knuckled grip is swiftly released from my hand and into another. "Lucy!" Jason's stern tone jolts me back into the present, causing my eyes to blink rapidly in order to focus.

"Sorry...you were saying?" I ask in a whisper.

Jason eyes me for a moment and then suddenly clears his throat. I tense at the familiar action, before resigning myself to another of his sympathetic speeches. "Look" he begins instead, catching me off guard. Noticing this, Jason reaches out to pat my shoulder. "Lucy I want you to take a break."

I feel the air in my lungs subside and then I'm rushing to find my voice. "What? Jason, please I-" before I can say anything more, his expression changes. His mouth shifting into a stern line. With this one piercing look, I decide its best to stay quiet.

"Journalism isn't an easy job. _Passion. Motivation. Complete focus_. They're all essential in order for us to produce even a shred of a decent article let alone something spectacular..." he takes a deep breath and tilts his head to the side, mouth turning up slightly in an all-knowing smile. "You have the drive to be a great writer. But you can't accomplish anything the way you are now. You're hurting. You can try to mask that pain as much as you want, but it won't do you any good."

 _Shock_ is the best word I can find to describe the way I feel in that moment. "I can't begin to imagine what you must..." Jason attempts in a wanning effort. "You deserve time to mourn and move on from the past Lucy. I know that isn't what you want to hear right now- or _ever_ for that matter. But the stress you're putting yourself through is going to destroy you. Fairy Tail was an amazing guild but-"

" _Family_ " I interrupt quietly, causing Jason to halt his deploring speech. "You're right Jason. Everything you've said is right. But Fairy Tail-" I nearly choke on the name, my eyes beginning to blur, "wasn't just an amazing guild. It was an amazing family. _My_ amazing family. I haven't allowed myself to forget that fact in these past three years. I probably never will. But you're right. Fairy Tail is gone. And I need to accept that."

Jason shakes his head softly with a sigh of exhaustion. "But I don't want to stop working" I add honestly, laughing lightly at my mentors raised eyebrows. "Because being a writer is what I've always wanted to be. Even before I entered Fairy Tail." His eyes soften, creasing ever so faintly. With a firm "I'm going to go clear my head", I leave. The action feeling more like a desperate retreat the closer I get to the buildings' main door.

The shadow curled around my body like the fine, silk frame of a snake slinks away in the same manner after I'm finally outside. The icy air splintering down my throat is a welcome relief after the tense atmosphere only moments ago.

With a hefty sigh I turn out and onto the tired old streets of Magnolia, letting a single tear trail down my cheek as I say goodbye to my _family_ , my _home_...to _Fairy Tail_. And with it, _Natsu Dragneel_.


	5. The Encounter

My eyes trail over the stone path I've been walking. Following. Helplessly hoping will take me _somewhere._

"What are you doing?" I ask myself, the question sounding foreign as it escapes my lips. _Don't make your boss worry. Jason's already stuck his neck out for you enough over the last three years._

A flicker of something catches my eye, distracting me from my mental scold. A leaf falls lifelessly to the ground, along with another and shortly after that, another. _I suspect those are the last of the Cherry Blossoms-_

Something else pink flashes amongst the cherry petals and I nearly choke. _No. No. No_ I beg desperately. The rosy pink mess of hair I remember so clearly is now slightly longer; reaching just above wider shoulders.

I can't decide whether to cry or laugh. _Its winter you moron._ I sigh; taking in his thin layer of clothing. _At least_ act _like you're slightly cold._ But I let none of these thoughts leave my mouth; afraid my voice will break.

His raven eyes haven't found me yet; their still scanning the streets for _something_. My own desire to run and hide scares me. Every fibre of my body wants to high-tale-it out of here before he spots me, but I'm cemented in place. _Please don't look this way_ I beg.

Finally I snap out of whatever spell I've been under. Just as I turn to leave in the opposite direction he sees me.

"Lucy?" _Oh god. That voice._ My heart is hammering in my chest and I know with the way my legs are shaking beneath me, with even a single step I'll collapse.

 _I finally decided to give up on you. So why did you have to come back?_


	6. Forgotten Times

Three Years Earlier...

" _Lucy! Happy!" Natsu hollers, charging through the guild like a wild bull. I have just enough time to turn around before he yanks me away from my seat next to Levy. His arm locks around my waist and I'm lifted off the wooden bench._

" _Natsu!" I shriek. Behind me Levy stifles a laugh and only laughs harder when I shoot her a glare over the dragon-slayer's broad shoulders. "Put me down you-" I begin to threaten but am abruptly dropped._

" _Sorry Luce" my pink haired companion apologises mockingly, a grin spreading across his face. He offers me a hand and I slap it away._

" _What is it?" I demand, rubbing my butt to try and stop the sting brought on by the force of which I hit the ground._

" _Hm?" Natsu blinks at me in confusion and I don't bother to supress my groan._

" _You called me didn't you? What was it you rushed over for?" I can see the cogs turning inside his head as he mules over my question. Somewhere a light bulb bursts to life._

" _Oh right! I found a decent job for 300,000 jewels. I figured you must be behind on your rent, so let's go!"_

 _His black eyes shine down on me as he reaches yet again to help me up and this time I take it, allowing him only to pull with enough force that I go flying into his arms. My fingers splay against his chest for a second before I heave a sigh and step back._

 _I shake my head softly. "I never can stay angry at you can I?"_

 _Natsu frowns in thought. I watch him with a slight smirk until he realises the sarcasm in my words. "No, I guess you can't" he answers, his mouth relaxing into another grin that has me fighting back my own smile. Eventually I give in and grin back at him, mouth equally as wide._

" _Right, let's go find Happy" I conclude. A thought hits me and before Natsu can head off I tap his shoulder, allowing him to face me again with another confused crease of his brows. "Are you sure you don't want to just go with Happy this time?" His eyes widen at my worry. "I can figure out how to pay off my rent another way. You don't have to drag me along all the time. I feel bad taking all the money for myself…"_

 _I have a hard time meeting his eyes when I finish. I drag my eyes up to meet his and at the intensity of his gaze, I glance away._

" _Natsu and Happy" he blurts out, startling me enough that I can't help but look back up. There's a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth that wants to tug it into a smile, but he seems to be trying hard to look serious. "That's how our team always was. It was always just me and Happy." He gestures to Erza and Gray seating at the far corner of the hall, "Those two are part of the team occasionally. But Lucy, you're our official third member." He lets the tug from early, slide his face into an easy smile. "If we didn't help with your rent, you'd have nowhere to go. And we can't be without our whole team, so of course you have to come with us on missions."_

 _A tear slides down my cheek and I gasp. "We like having Lucy around" Natsu states firmly as his eyes focus behind me. When I dare my eyes to follow the direction, I let out a laugh; watching Happy glide across the room to us in all his non-existent, feline grace. "We're a team; us three." I hear Natsu say as he comes to stand beside me._

 _I turn sideways, looking up into his face and in answer he tilts his head slightly to look down at me, pink hair shifting with the movement. "What do you say?" he asks more softly this time._

 _I smile warmly with my single word answer. "Okay."_

...

I didn't tell him anything more, but I think in that moment I fell in love with Natsu Dragneel.

If I'd known then what the future had install, I may have considered telling him that, but we can't know how anything will turn out. And for me, the betrayal I felt when he and Happy disappeared was all that I could remember as he now stood before me. _Welcome Home_ I think, the wall over my heart settling firmly in place.


	7. Visible Change

"Luce?"

Whatever spell I've been under is broken with the questioning tone of Natsu's voice. I feel conflicted, drawn between running into his arms, and wanting to fade back into the pleasant memory. But instead I let a mask fall in place.

With a tight, pathetic smile I meet his eyes.

I watch his brows slowly rise and then furrow. Rethinking whatever it is he wants to say; his lips eventually draw into a firm line. When he takes a step towards me my mask falters. Heart pounding in my chest, I attempt to move further away, only to trip over an uneven patch of stone and fall.

Time seems to have stopped and, to my embarrassment, I don't notice I'm staring at his hand until he extends it out to me.

"Don't!" I gasp. The hand freezes mere inches from my own.

"Why?" Natsu asks; the word tumbles out awkwardly and I can tell he's now unsure of himself.

 _Because I can't pretend everything's okay if you try and help me now._ I _will_ myself to somehow convey these words to him but my mouth is a trembling mess. Without thinking my gaze focuses back on that hand; still hovering above my wrist and I'm struck by how well I know it. _Strong_ I think. I'm only paying attention to the one, but without looking I know the other is just as rough and calloused; covered in faint scars from all of our battles.

Sensing the rising tension, Natsu straights up. "Let's go to yours" he resolves, seeming more unnerved when I wordlessly agree.

I only become aware of the clear change in his attitude after we begin to make our way to my apartment.

Part of me expected he'd come running back; eager to continue where we left off, gleefully oblivious to having left for so long in the first place. But no one can predict the future accurately. No. Rather than his cheerful, _fired up_ self, Natsu appears _harder_. The fire in his once bottomless eyes have become nothing more than an eerie glow.


	8. Familiar Things

Twenty minutes feels like an hour by the time we reach our destination. Neither of us has said a single word since we agreed to come here and the effects of our dragged out silence is starting to show.

I'm up the steps and just about to unlock the door when Natsu abruptly clears his throat.

"Where are we?"

I pause, key resting in my hand. "Where are we you ask…? This is my apartment."

His mouth falls open as he takes in the small brick building. Unlike my old apartment, with its spacious rooms and multi-story exterior, the street I now live on, is littered with one-story, cottage-like apartments.

"When did you-" he starts to ask.

"Two years ago" I murmur and return to unlocking the door, my hand shaking as I hurry to get in and off the street.

...

Inside I run my hand along the wall for the light switch and upon finding it the tiny hallway flickers to life.

"It's smaller than my old one but the rent is much cheaper and-" I don't know why I feel the need to explain myself but my rambling only stops when Natsu grabs me. "-cosier" I finish. Within seconds he has my back pressed up against the wall, his hands planted firmly on either side of my head; preventing any escape.

"Why?" his soft voice takes on a gravely tone as he leans down, his unruly pink mop fluttering forward. "Lucy" he seems to beg. "Why are you acting like this?"

It takes me a minute to respond, struggling to focus on the question in his voice and not the heat of his breath on my skin.

"Acting like what?" I gasp.

"Like we're strangers!" he growls.

 _What happened to make him change this much? He's not the Natsu I remember. No. He's much more serious now._ A laugh bubbles over my lips. _Am I going insane?_ I wonder thoughtfully.

"Well?" Natsu demands.

"That's because we are strangers" I shrug.

His anger blanches at my _forced_ indifference. Though I doubt he notices the _forced_ part.

"But we're not Luce-"

"Aren't we?" He looks at me as if I've gone insane.

"Of course not! You and I could never be strangers. We know each other too well-"

"I don't think so" the unmovable me argues back. "After all, if we know each other as well as you say we do, I'd be able to understand why you left wouldn't you say?" At the mention of the past, the dragon slayer flinches. "No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find an answer behind the note you left. And if you knew me at all as you claim to, how could you have still chosen to leave me here? Wouldn't you say I have a valid point Natsu?"

He chuckles sadly and my curiousity gets the better of me.

"What?"

Head shaking softly, Natsu's raven eyes flash with some raw emotion. "You finally said my name" he answers huskily before pressing his lips to mine.


	9. Lucy's Feelings

Natsu's hands graze my face, holding me in place. He doesn't need to though because I don't think I can bring myself to pull away even if I know I should. If my mouth moulding to his isn't proof enough, then the _mm_ sound I make while trying to get us closer is.

My hands find their way around his neck and quickly into his hair; the pink, wild, mess that I love so much.

I just want to bask in this moment and not have to worry or think about what should be- what _needs_ to be- said and done. I almost allow myself to forget it all; the past. Until Natsu's tongue runs over my bottom lip, his hands linger down to my hips and he grinds his body lustfully against mine.

I'm still kissing him but now I'm keenly aware of my back pressed up against the wall. It's cold against my skin, a shiver wants to work its way up my back in the chilly space, but the growing heat between our bodies is confusing the natural instinct.

I feel everything and nothing all at once when he mumbles my name into my mouth.

"No!" I groan, forcing my hands to cease their hold of his hair and bringing them to rest against his chest. When he doesn't step back I use my arms to create the distance I need.

"Luce, I-" Natsu starts, but I shake my head and his confusion.

"This isn't _us_ " I scold. "The Natsu I know wouldn't even know what _this_ ", I gesture to the millimetre of space between us, "is. And frankly _I_ don't even know what just happened. You think if you kiss me it will all go away?You left me on my own for three years Natsu! The "one year" you promised in that stupid letter of yours was longer than I thought I could take. But oh no", I throw my arms in the air dramatically and then jab him in the chest; "You decided you needed two more for this so called "training" of yours." I stop for a minute to breath and by this point the Salamander is watching me with guilty, hard eyes.

"Lucy, listen-"

"I'm not finished" I hiss which makes him frown even more. I can't help but feel slightly guilty for the harsh lines that now decorate his face. "Do you remember the 50,000 jewel job we went on? The one with the burglars raiding a small town outside of Fiore?" Confused, he searches my eyes for something unknowing, and then eventually nods when he doesn't find it. I give him a sad, knowing smile. "Before we left for that mission I asked you if you were sure you wanted me to go", his eyes widen slightly but I keep going, "because I felt guilty that after every job you'd give me the money we earned. Of course we didn't earn much, because you always left a bigger mess than there was." I grin quickly before settling back to small hint of a smile. "When I said that, you told me it was inevitable that I come. Because if I didn't pay my rent I'd have no place to go and you said we couldn't have that because the team had to be together always. Our team had to be together." I don't stop the tears this time. "After I left home I always regretted leaving things the way they were with my father but I was too scared to go back because I didn't think I belonged there anymore. I didn't think I had any place to call home after that. But Natsu, you gave Fairy Tail to me. I'd have been lost without you I think."

"Lucy please, I-"

"I loved you. So much after that moment." Natsu blanches at the confession, staring at me like a wide-eyed fish. I try not to laugh in spite of myself. "It was really easy fooling you too. I was kind of glad you didn't realise. I was afraid things would get weird between us. But I also couldn't help wishing one day you'd find out. Of course you never had the chance to because then you left." _Deep breathes_ I tell myself. "I tried to find you after I found your letter. I looked everywhere. I remember screaming out your name on the streets hoping you'd hear me and come back-" I hesitate at the hurt in his black eyes, the sad line of his mouth. "It wasn't until my throat was hoarse and it was painful to breathe, that I realised you weren't coming back."

Natsu looks down, unable to hold my gaze. "I'm so sorry Luce" he whispers.

"I blamed myself" I say.

"What are you talking about?" he demands.

"I knew you were somewhere, alone. Mourning Igneel", he flinches at the mention of his dragon father's name. "I wanted to comfort you but I didn't know how, so I stayed away. I kept wondering after you disappeared, that maybe if I had talked to you sooner, you would have stayed. That things wouldn't have turned out like they had if I had."

"No. It's not your fault Luce. I made the choice to leave, on my own. I couldn't leave Happy on his own, but I believed you'd be fine. You've always been the smartest one in our team. I didn't consider your feelings. I'm so sorry. I should have talked to you. But I was confused about everything. My whole life, I've been searching for Igneel. My only family disappeared when I was a kid and I had so many questions. I was so angry at him. Why did he leave? How could he be so selfish? Those were the only things I could think about. And then suddenly, there he was." Natsu's staring behind me at the wall as he says this. He's somewhere far away from here and I don't want to interrupt him just yet. "It all happened so fast. He was back and then he was gone. But this time he was gone for good. I couldn't believe it. I felt numb when we got back to the guild. Like everything I'd done, all the sacrifices I'd made were for nothing. And then there was you. I don't really know where to start just yet about why I left, but I can honestly say it didn't dawn on me until I'd been gone a three months, that I'd done exactly what Igneel had done. I'd left you without saying goodbye. When I realised that I was so angry at myself that I almost came straight back. But I couldn't bring myself to. Partly because I was scared of how you'd react, that you'd hate. And also because I had made the decision to leave and I knew I couldn't just back out then and there over the guilt I felt over hurting you. I know its selfish and awful to say that, but you don't-"

"I do" I interrupt sadly. "I wish I didn't. I want to stay angry at you. But I can't because I understand."

The corner of his mouth twitches. "Yeah. That's why I love you too."


	10. Natsu's Feelings

Whatever expression I've been wearing on my face up until now shatters at his words. _He loves me_ I gasp.

Natsu laughs out loud, "Don't look so surprised" he says, taking a step back. Even after saying that, I can't convince my mouth to shut after falling open so suddenly. "I'll admit, I've been pretty slow. It was only after I got half way through writing that note, that I noticed something was different. Everything just felt so _wrong_. It was like there was a weight on my chest", he smiles shyly at me, a completely unfamiliar characteristic for the Natsu of the past. "I kept picturing your face as I left. The way your face lights up when you smile, your cheeks turning pink when you're embarrassed, the way you pout when you sulk, the stern line of your lips when your angry…the fat, salty tears I imagined would be covering your face when you found the letter." He trails off and just as quickly as the shy smile came it's gone, replaced with a frown.

There's a dull ache in my chest that only seems to build the longer I watch him struggle with the battle clearly waging within him. I don't know how to take away the misery that's dug its way inside him but I can't just sit by either so I close the space between us. I can tell the actions caught him off guard because he flinches when I raise my hands, searching my eyes warily until I place them on either side of his face which seems to make him relax. Enough so, that his arms quickly find their way home around my waist.

For a long time we simply stay like this; bodies still in contact but with a comfortable distance put between us. At some point Natsu releases a shaky breath and after looking down for an eternity, his raven eyes focus back on mine with an intensity that could near well unravel me. "When Igneel-" his voice comes out rough; raw with grief, "When Igneel fought Acnologia and- and died something broke inside me." Tears threaten at the corner of his eyes but he brushes them away before they can fall, wiping his face on my shoulder. "I was always chasing after him. Hoping pathetically that one day I'd find him. I thought if I stopped searching, waited for him to come back to me, I'd eventually give up. I was terrified my fears would come true so instead of sitting back, I followed any lead I could find. You know this Luce; you've seen me run off on trails hoping they'd lead me somewhere." His eyes are so wide with desperation at this point that I can't help but nod so he knows I do remember. "After all the years I spent looking for him, for him to suddenly show up in front of me and then die I- how am I supposed to take that? If he was with me all along then why the hell didn't he come back sooner!?"

Natsu sobs into my shirt, his hands curling around my hips shakily. To stop from collapsing? Hold me in place? Keep me from pulling him closer? I barely know the reason but I don't stop him because I can't bear the thought of him pulling away if I try to move. My thoughts are interrupted by his cracked voice. "Was everything I did for nothing? I had to leave Fairy Tail to figure that out for myself. I decided to prevent all the pain I felt when I lost Igneel from happening again, I had to become stronger. Because if he was just going to disappear from my life for good after all the crap I went through to see him again I-I shouldn't have gone after him to begin with. That's what I thought-"

"You're a fool" I whisper, twisting my fingers in his hair. "You're a damned fool Natsu Dragneel" I repeat more loudly this time, stooping low so that I can press my lips against his. At first he tries to pull away but I just continue kissing him until he responds. It's hard to speak with his breath hefting into my mouth. "You loved him. Be angry. Cry. Scream. But don't say it was all for nothing. He loved you too. He gave you the strength to keep going when the rest of us said it was pointless. You wouldn't be who you are today if not for him and the whole he left in your heart." I have to stop to catch my breath, leaning my head away from Natsu's in the process. I relinquish hold of his pink locks, tracing a path from his neck to his jawline, pausing over his lips.

A tear slips down my cheek. Then another. "You didn't join Fairy Tail until after Igneel disappeared right?" He nods, unsure of the questions purpose, but that's ok. He'll understand soon enough. My mouth is a delicate smile, a foal wobbling onto new legs. "I'm glad for everything that's happened. Even if it meant you lost Igneel. Because that loss brought you to Fairy Tail. Brought you to me. And I don't care if it's selfish because I've already had to face a possible future where you're not in my life and I simply won't go through that again. So don't you dare say it was all for nothing. Because to me, you're everything."

Natsu's eyes soften. "Yeah" he says simply.

I feel so exposed, but that's ok. "Do you mind," I start shakily; glancing down at his solid grip on my waist. "You're going to leave a mark" I scold.

His eyes light up with a mischievous glint, the first real semblance of the Natsu I know. "Good. Anyways, I thought you liked it rough" he says.

"Up until now, you and I were just friends. How would you know what I like?" I ask.

"It's because we were friends that I know" he answers huskily. "Or am I wrong?" he adds, pressing the full length of his body against mine.

I take in a shaky breath. "Why don't we find out?"


	11. Then There Were 3

_What did I just say?_ I panic, going over the conversation again in my head. _Why don't we find out? Why don't we find out?! Hang on Lucy; isn't that moving a bit too quickly? I mean this is you and Natsu you're talking about! Just relax. Take it slow-_ I barely remember what I was saying when my eyes take in the look of surprise mirrored on Natsu's face. _Oh god_ I whimper, warmth flooding my cheeks. But his face seems to relax; black eyes crinkling at the corners, mouth turning up at one side. Just the look alone stops me from doubting his feelings; it's so filled with _love_ that I feel the need to catch my breath.

 _I love you_ I think, my embarrassment replaced by something more daring and confident. With one hand already fisted in his shirt, I lift the other. Running my fingertips lightly down his face; starting at his brow, where an unfamiliar scar now exists, and edging further until they rest on his lips. For a minute I just take in the familiar curve of that mouth, picturing the obnoxious, toothy grin that used to live there.

"Please don't go" I blink away tears, realising I've said the words out loud.

"I'm not going anywhere Luce" Natsu promises and I shake my head.

"You already have" I say.

"What do you mean?"

"You've changed so much. I wish things could return to the way they used to be Natsu" my mouth trembles under the leaded weight of the words.

Natsu searches my eyes worriedly. "I don't understand. What are you-?"

"Your smile. You used to smile no matter what but now you just look so sad. Even the way you talk is different- No not different. Just… more mature, resolved even." I try to explain but the words keep getting caught and tangled in my head. "I love you Natsu. I just wish you-"

"I was the old me" Natsu finishes. I feel cruel, like I've told him I prefer another version of him but that isn't it at all. I love him; the past, present and future him. Because no matter what, it's Natsu. But it was the happy, confident Natsu that we all relied on; that gave us the strength to keep going. I don't believe that part of him is permanently gone but I don't know how to bring it back either.

"I'm still me Luce. I've just grown up a bit. But if it's the annoying me you want…" Natsu flashes a quick grin and before I can wonder, he starts tickling my waist. "No" I scream but I know it's pointless.

"What are you doing?" a voice interrupts and I desperately crane my neck to take in the new arrival. My front door hangs slightly ajar, letting the afternoon light pool into the hallway. My eyes widen on the familiar blue feline but before I can call out his name, his eyes lock onto Natsu still curled around me. "Natsu" the cat whines. "Why didn't you wait for me?! You're the one that told me to fly over to Lucy's apartment in the first place and when I came back to tell you the landlady told me she moved, you were gone! You're so mean!"

I don't know whether to laugh at the snot and tears dripping down his face or cry simply because he's here too. Instead I slip out of my fire-breather's arms, crouch down and smile. "Welcome back Happy."

This seems to only make Happy cry more as he rushes into my open arms. "Lucy! I'm back! Natsu's so mean to me! I missed you" he cries. _I missed you too_ I want to say but can't quite convince my mouth to work.

"I'm sorry Happy" Natsu half-heartedly apologises from behind me, sounding distracted more than anything. Picking up the bundle of fluff, I turn to face him.

"What is it?" I ask, scratching between Happy's ears.

"I had to see you first" Natsu says, looking down at his arm that I now notice is awkwardly bandaged. _Why the?_ I start to think but don't get a chance to wonder more when he finishes his sentence. "But now we have to go let everyone know we're back too."

"Everyone?" I repeat warily.

"The guild Lucy" Natsu explains, oblivious to the war waging inside me. "Fairy Tail" he adds.

My hand pauses in its path over Happy's head and a chill creeps up my spine. "Lucy?" Happy asks, causing Natsu to look at me as well. The hallway feels even smaller with both sets of eyes trained on me. I feel sick but there's no bile rising up in my throat this time as I answer.

"Fairy Tail's gone."


	12. Hurt

"Fairy Tail's gone."

The words are as empty as they always are when they leave my mouth, but this time I keep my eyes on Natsu's as I say them, though I'm more so looking through him. I'm too numb to focus on how either of the boys are reacting. _Ah_ I can't help but sigh inwardly. _Somehow I thought I'd feel relieved when they knew. I guess I should know by now that it's pointless hoping for things_.

It takes me a few minutes to realise just how still and deathly quiet the hallway has become, but I manage to focus back on Natsu's face as though nothing has happened which surprises me because inside I know I'm a complete mess.

His lips barely move. "If that's a joke Luce, it's not funny."

I sit back as though I've been slapped, but with my emotions in turmoil, my face stays neutral. Only my voice betrays how I truly feel. _Wounded._ "Do really think I'm capable of making such a joke?"

"No" Natsu sighs but it's not a very convincing answer. "I'm just a little confused" he adds.

"You're just a little confused" I repeat. _What right do you have to feel confused?_ I want to scream but it's no good because we've already established why he left, so I should no longer have any reason to be angry at him. But the feelings of betrayal and loneliness are so raw inside me that I'm struggling to see beyond the red haze that now clouds my vision.

"When did this happen?" he demands, his own anger and confusion blinding him.

My lips move on their own, "Three years ago. The same day you left."

If Natsu notices this last point, his face doesn't show it, his eyes are darting back and forth over the floor, his arms crossed tensely over his chest. "How could this have happened?!" he growls, teeth gnashing together.

"Master just said it was time" I reply with a shrug.

Natsu glares at me, clearly bothered by my nonchalant behaviour. "And what? You just let him go ahead and make that decision did you? Did you even try to stop him Lucy?! No one said anything?"

Something inside me snaps, my arms are so loose around Happy that it's a wonder I haven't dropped him. "Did I just let him go ahead and make that decision you say? Did I even try to stop him you say?" I spit his words back at him with enough venom that even Happy flinches, quickly climbing out of my arms and hides behind Natsu. " _You_ have no right to- to be saying any of that!" I scream.

The fire dragon's eyes widen for half a second before going dim with some kind of silent understanding. His folded arms drop limply to his sides as he takes a step towards me.

"Don't" I warn. Halting his advance. "I know why you left Natsu. I understand. But right now I don't care because all that matters to me right now is that Fairy Tail disbanded that same day you took off." I taste something salty on my lips before I realise that I'm crying. "After I found your note, I went and looked for you. I told you that just before remember?" I ask, but don't bother waiting for his conformation. "When I couldn't find you, I went back to the guild. I hoped maybe you'd gone there. But no. Instead I found everyone in a panic. I tried talking to Gray and Erza, to ask if either of them had seen you but I never got the chance. The second they turned around, I knew something was wrong, something other than the fact that you were missing." I clench my hands, driving my nails into my palms as a distraction from the pain I feel in my chest. "The master had called everyone together to tell us that he was disbanding Fairy Tail. We all just stood there with our mouths open. I don't think any of us knew how to react. He said it was time. I don't remember what else happened before I got home. It was all a blur."

Neither Happy nor Natsu moves, they're both frozen in place, watching me with mirrored looks of pity that make me want to vomit. _Don't feel sorry for me_ I want to beg.

"I didn't leave the apartment at first. I guess I was just too shocked to know how to function. I contacted Erza, Wendy and Gray a couple days later. I wanted to make sure they were all okay. I didn't expect them to be so resolved though." Natsu frowns at me in question. "They'd all decided if that was the master's decision, then they'd respect it. They weren't going to question him. I tried to argue but their minds were made up. It wasn't that they were happy. I know they were just as sad and confused. But they had somehow figured out how to move on. I hadn't.

"So stubbornly, I stayed behind and watched as everyone went their separate ways. I've tried to keep track of everyone's whereabouts but some of them have been harder than others-"

"Wait" Natsu cuts in.

"What?" I ask.

"You say you've been keeping track of everyone?"

"Well, tried" I admit.

"How?"

"Really, it's hard to explain. I mean unless I show you I don't really-"

Suddenly Natsu bends down and grabs my shoulders firmly, catching me off guard. His eyes glint with a familiar spark. "Then show me."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading and for all the support! I hope everyone who's followed this short story, has enjoyed it :)**

 **Fairy Tail is my absolute favourite series and I have so much respect for all the hard work that's been put into it! Friendship, family, loyalty, determination, strength, courage, love, sacrifice. There are so many important lessons and values to learn.**

 **I'm always praying that something "more" will happen between Natsu and Lucy, which is what inspired me to write this short story.**

 **This next chapter will most likely be the last. I hope you all enjoy it and hopefully I'll be able to post another story soon! Thank you all again!**


	13. Hope

_Then show me._ I sigh, thinking back over the flames dancing in Natsu Dragneel's eyes as I'd mentioned keeping track of our friends.

We walk in silence with me in the lead, while Natsu and Happy trail behind. Buzzing with excitement.

Soon enough we're wedging awkwardly through the doorway to my bedroom; the boys' eagerness to explore has them rushing past me. I shake my head in mock annoyance, switch on the light and watch as their eyes' almost immediately spot _it_. Covering the expanse of one of the four walls in my room is a map. Notes, jottings and photographs splayed across it.

"What is this?" Natsu gasps, moving to stand in front of the crazy construction. I come closer and glance sideways at him.

"Just a little something I started about a year after Fairy Tail disbanded" I reply, rubbing my arms in order to keep the 5 o'clock chill at bay. Noticing this, Natsu removes Igneel's scarf from around his neck and offers it to me.

"Are- are you sure?" I ask, knowing how much the scarf means to him.

Rolling his eyes, the pink haired menace bumps his shoulder against mine. "It's fine. And in any case, I trust you." He smiles thoughtfully at me and then faces back towards the wall. "You call this _little_?" he laughs.

"It's nothing really. I mean, it's not even that good. I still don't know where-" I gasp at the feel of a warm pressure on my skin, looking down to catch my fire dragon's hand locking around mine. My cheeks burn. Whether from embarrassment or not, I don't know exactly.

"You've done good Luce" Natsu tells me firmly. _Huh?_ I frown, meeting Natsu's deep raven eyes. He smiles softly. "You've done so good Lucy. For watching over everyone. Thank you."

My eyes automatically tear up. "Stop it" I laugh, rubbing my eyes. "Anyway, it's not like it'll help. I mean, with all the research I've done, I still haven't managed to get in contact with most of them-"

"We will" Natsu cuts in. He gives my hand a squeeze before releasing his hold and bringing it higher to rest against my cheek. "Before you told me I've changed. But so have you Lucy" he says.

I blink in shock. "What- I- I haven't-" I try to argue but I don't know how.

"I'm so sorry Lucy" he says suddenly, brushing away an escaping tear from my face. "I'm glad I left. I needed to get stronger. But I regret leaving you behind, I should have taken you with me." I sniffle at the sincerity and Natsu leans forward to press his lips to my forehead. "I promise. I'll make up for it" he grins.

"How?" I whimper. "Fairy Tail's-"

"Leave that to me. I'm going to bring Fairy Tail back" he declares. I stare at him in silent awe for what feels like forever, until I lean up and press my mouth against his. He responds, sliding his arms around my waist and bringing me closer. I sneak my hands over his chest, pressing them flat over the thrum of his heart. A soft _mm_ escapes my lips and with it I can feel Natsu's hands inch lower down my hips.

"I don't know what's happening, but don't forget I'm here!" Happy shouts, jolting us back into the present. Natsu chuckles but keeps his eyes on me.

"We" I murmur.

"Huh?" he says.

"You said " _I'm_ going to bring Fairy Tail back" but you're wrong. _We're_ going to." I don't attempt to supress the smile wanting to form on my face.

Natsu beams the same pointed grin from years ago, drawing my breath up short. "Yeah. We're going to bring them back."

* * *

Many hours later, I find myself unable to sleep. I'm both completely wide awake and worn out from the past day's events, but for fear that it is all a dream, I remain awake.

Instead I find myself concentrating on the light snores bellow me. A few feet away from my bed are Natsu and Happy; comfortably resting on the spare futon. _So defenceless_ I think and giggle aloud.

"Luce? Are you awake" Natsu whispers.

I take in a shuddering breath. "Yeah. Did I wake you?" I press, now feeling bad.

"No, I wasn't sleeping" he assures. He doesn't say anything after that so I assume he's fallen asleep or done talking. I don't expect to hear the floor creak or my bed to sigh with the weight of another body.

"What are you doing?" I whisper nervously, squinting into the dark.

This time Natsu's voice is much closer. "Do you want me to go back on the floor?"

I shiver, his hot breath wafting over my neck. "No" I answer. He lets out a throaty chuckle in response and I'm thankful the darkness is there to hide the blush it brings to my face.

"Roll over" Natsu commands, climbing beneath the cover. I do as he says, facing towards the window. His arm curls around my waist, pulling me back up against his chest. I relax easily into the circle of his arms. "You're so warm" he purrs, lips brushing my ear.

"Speak for yourself" I laugh.

"I guess you're right" he murmurs, dropping his head to my shoulder. "Luce?"

I sigh, my eye lids growing heavy. "I'm so tired all of a sudden. I must sleep better with you around huh?"

"Lucy" Natsu repeats.

"Mm?"

"I love you" he says and this time I can hear the smile in this voice.

"I love you too" I yawn, losing consciousness. "Never stopped."

"Let's get Fairy Tail back okay?" he asks. I snuggle farther against his chest, pleased when he releases a content sigh.

"Yeah."

* * *

 **Thank you all so much for following this story! I've loved every second of writing it :)**

 **I can't wait to start writing again. Hopefully it will be soon!**


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